Betsy Slay Coaching

Not getting what you want out of a relationship?

publishedabout 2 months ago
1 min read

Happy Thursday!

Here's a little something to help you step into your Next Best Version this week.

This question popped up in my reading this week and I immediately jotted it down because I wanted to ponder it when I had a bit of quiet time.

What value am I offering?

When I came back to it, my first thought was "what does this even mean?" What is value? I looked up the meaning of "value" in several online dictionaries and the one that rang most true in this context was from the Cambridge Dictionary:

"The importance or worth of something for someone"

What am I offering that is of importance or worth of something for someone? And why do I even care? Relationships popped to mind immediately.

Healthy, balanced, thriving relationships are based on a mutual exchange of value. And relationships for the context of this discussion, can take many forms: work, romantic, platonic, family, relationship with self and countless other.

If you are not getting what you WANT out of a relationship, ask yourself, "what am I GIVING?"

Am I bringing importance or worth to this relationship?

If not, ask, "what CAN I bring?", then bring it. Sometimes recognizing we are not adding value to a relationship, then adding value can be all that is needed for us to feel a return to balance.

If you believe you ARE bringing value to the relationship to the best of your ability, this begs a few questions:

  • What value is the other party bringing? Make a list.
  • Is there value they are bringing I have not recognized?
  • Am I willing to accept this imbalance?
  • Am I open to the idea that I decide what balance means to me?
  • If I am not willing to accept this imbalance, what steps am prepared to take in balancing or ending the relationship?

Pausing and asking ourselves these questions is often all that is needed to create enough headspace to take a less emotionally charged look at the relationship in question and find relief and "balance" without changing a thing.

Are you struggling with an imbalanced relationship?

If so, I invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute coaching session with me. We can talk through some of these questions together and maybe even help you find greater balance on your relationship scale.

Until next week,


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